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Published on November 15, 2005 By ----- In Humor
Ok, first of all. This is an attempt at a humorous written comic. A Satire/spoof, nothing but comedy. So, bear with me. Also, If you feel that there are any direct references that you do not care for... just let me know. I do not write these to intentionally poke at one as to condem, just to joke around. Also, I am *not* directly/indirectly meaning anything towards the admins. The possibility of someone thinking that sprang into my mind. And i wanted to make it clear.

Anyway, I got the idea about 3-4 weeks ago...but, as i was busy at that time. I only started it about a week and a half ago. I will need all the help/suggestions, and critizicisms i can get.

Best Regards, Lucas




Welcome faithful readers, to the world of exiled edd, and banished bob. These two are satire inspiring, intelligence disinclined, bumbling fools. On one hand we have Bob, a genius, whose pure bad luck has landed him in the vast "wildlands" outside the fortress of JU. On the other hand, we have Edd, a man 'many crayons short' of a full box. Let us proceed.

We meet our intrepid (or perhaps senseless) heroes standing outside the impregnable fortress known as JU.

“What do we do?” exclaimed Edd. “We’ve been cast out by the gods, what the bloody hell do we do?”

Bob glanced around, seeing that the only items they had with them were a rubber band and some paper.

Bob suddenly had an idea. The sun suddenly peaked out from behind a storm cloud. Brightening the area surrounding the JU fortress.

“I know what we can do, we can use the rubber band to shoot spit wads through the holes the bugs made!” Edd said excitedly.

Bob scratched his head, willing to give his limited friend an opportunity and revealing his tope and mumbled, “Why not.”

Bob proceeded to crumple up small bits of paper and moistened them in his mouth, raised the stretched rubber band and shot at the fortress.

The spit wad hit the fortress and bounced back hitting Edd square in the face.

“Damn it!” Grumbled Bob, “Try again!”

And yet again they fired, and yet again it bounced off the wall and this time hit bob square in the face, they failed.

“Lets try going over it.”, said Edd.

“Good Idea!” Bob said.

The two ran off and returned a few minutes later with a giant crate with the words, “ Product brought to you by: ACNE Industries: ‘Once they pop, we can stop…’ .”

After taking a crow bar to the crate, Bob began to search inside the packing material. As Edd started to play with the packing material, bubble wrap.
Popp! Popp! Popp! Edd giggled at the sound.

Bob looked up at Edd with a look of disgust on his face, “Edd, My inept friend; Never do that again…”

Edd looked at him quizzically and nodded his head.

“Right you are Bob…Bobby boy.” Edd said.”

Bob had found what he was looking for, the frame for the flying machine, a rocket.

As Bob walked by Edd, he smacked him along side the head.

“Need I remind you again, to not call me by my despicable nickname.”

Edd grinned sheepishly.

“Now, we -- No, *I* must build this flying machine. You, can go wander off and hopefully fall in some hole in the ground where I can’t hear you scream…”

Edd nodded, not fully comprehending Bob’s meaning.

“Righ Ooh Bob! Hee Hee!”


Edd walked off, chasing a butterfly into the woods.

Bob meanwhile, had begun construction of the flying machine.

After many minutes, bob finished. He stepped back and admired his handy work. He heard a loud thud and looked towards the sound. He saw Edd laying on the ground, face first. Bob shook his head.

“Edd! Come!”
Edd sprang up in such a flash, it was as if nothing had gone wrong.

As Edd approached, bob began to speak, “ Edd, I need you to stand here and let me attach this machine to you.”

“What’s it for Bob?” Edd asked.

“Its an snow cone machine, we’re going to go make snow cones.” Bob said.

“Yeah! Snow cones! Snow Cones! We’re gonna make snow cones!” Edd sang happily.

“Yes, oh joy.” Bob said dryly.

“Now Edd, close your eyes, I am going to turn it on.” ,bob said.

Bob proceeded to turn the rocket on. As a result, Edd and the rocket shot off into the air and crashed into the JU fortress. Nothing happened.

“Curses!” Bob cried, “Must find a better way!”





Hope y'all enjoy!


Best Regards, Lucas


Comments (Page 1)
3 Pages1 2 3 
on Nov 15, 2005
This has got to be the most retarded thing I've ever read


Ditto.
on Nov 15, 2005
Sorry man, I couldn't even bring myself to finish it.
on Nov 15, 2005
Well, LW and dharma were a little harsh, but really Lucas... I've been seeing dozens of your articles, and I wouldn't mind seeing a little more quality and a little less quantity. I understand that your past has made people a little a little hostile toward you, and I don't think packing the forums is likely to bring you back into their good favor.

Dan
on Nov 15, 2005
Hey, thats why i said i need all the help i can get... any suggestions... ? at all....

on Nov 15, 2005
This has got to be the most retarded thing I've ever read.


Well, at least i hit something...

Sorry man, I couldn't even bring myself to finish it.


At least you're honest... thats all that matters....


And thanks for the comments guys...
on Nov 15, 2005
Well, LW and dharma were a little harsh, but really Lucas... I've been seeing dozens of your articles, and I wouldn't mind seeing a little more quality and a little less quantity. I understand that your past has made people a little a little hostile toward you, and I don't think packing the forums is likely to bring you back into their good favor.


I was, but...you have to understand the lengths some of us have gone to to try and help Lucas integrate himself as part of the JU community.

Lucas, please listen to Dan.

Oh, and one more thing.....did you really think this was good when you posted it? If you didn't, why did you post it?
on Nov 15, 2005
was, but...you have to understand the lengths some of us have gone to to try and help Lucas integrate himself as part of the JU community.


You were honest... *shrugs shoulders*

Lucas, please listen to Dan.


I am, I admit that last night was.....stupid...

Oh, and one more thing.....did you really think this was good when you posted it? If you didn't, why did you post it?


Call this a pilot... I'm still waiting for any suggestions.... if anyone is willing to give any...



on Nov 15, 2005
I'm still waiting for any suggestions.... if anyone is willing to give any...


Don't write any further episodes.

If you want to write something that has characters in it, you're going to have to reseaqrch those characters beforehand. You have to get to know them, get to know how they are and what they'd do...even for a short story, depth of character can make a huge difference.

Look at a piece of writing, a story, like a painting. you don't start out painting in all the little tiny details, do you? No, you start out with a sketch, then you add the background colors, the scenery....see what I mean? You add depth to it as you go along.

Don't post anything as awful as this and call it a 'pilot' piece ever again. Wait until you've most of the color on the page before you let anyone see it.
on Nov 15, 2005
Don't write any further episodes.


Quite forth coming...

Ok... thanks K
on Nov 15, 2005
Advice: spend time on your piece. Anything I'm writing about is usually something I've been mulling around for at least a week or so. Try limiting yourself to an article a week. If you feel the need of a fix, edit. One truly excellent article a week will, I guarantee, endear you to the JU community.

Like Dharma said, research your topic. Really know your stuff before you write. You'll note that I don't write about politics on my blog, because I don't know much about them. I write about religion (which I know a great deal about) and about concepts and metaphors (a strong area for me). Play to your strengths, and not just to what you think people want to hear.

Above all, quality, not quantity. I reemphasize my suggestion to post once a week until your feedback indicates that your level of quality is where it needs to be.

You don't need to do this to be at JU. Nobody will force you to change. But from what I understand, you have an honest desire to become a member of this community, and that's what it will take for that to happen.

Best of luck,

Dan

PS. From now on, I'll be keeping an eye on your site. The first piece that I see that is obviously the result of a good idea and a lot of effort (think 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration) is the next blog of yours that I'll comment on. I encourage other regular bloggers to do the same- especially you, dharma, since your comments are worth an awful lot even when you're criticising.
on Nov 15, 2005
Reply By: Dan Kaschel


Thanks Dan...
on Nov 15, 2005
Two things...

Above all, quality, not quantity. I reemphasize my suggestion to post once a week until your feedback indicates that your level of quality is where it needs to be.


I will promise here and now, that i will not spam the forums... That i will limit articles to...lets say 2/3 a day... (if that sounds reasonable to you)

You don't need to do this to be at JU. Nobody will force you to change. But from what I understand, you have an honest desire to become a member of this community, and that's what it will take for that to happen.


I think it is best if i perhaps stray away from articles where major thought is needed, like... lets say what DR. G, or Modman sometimes write about... There are things i would like to comment on...and, will refrain from doing anything until i get out of confinement...

--Lucas
on Nov 15, 2005
I use my blog as a sounding board. I write whatever I want on it. And I read stuff on JU that catches my eye. I don't even read every article of my "old favorites" because I don't know much about politics or such. JU is more of a personal thing for me.

Use it for what you want to use it for. That's what it's here for I guess. If you want to write stuff like this to get it out of your system or to practice your writing or whatever, I say go for it, but maybe keep it private or don't let people comment.

Me no know.
on Nov 16, 2005
I use my blog as a sounding board. I write whatever I want on it. And I read stuff on JU that catches my eye. I don't even read every article of my "old favorites" because I don't know much about politics or such. JU is more of a personal thing for me.Use it for what you want to use it for. That's what it's here for I guess. If you want to write stuff like this to get it out of your system or to practice your writing or whatever, I say go for it, but maybe keep it private or don't let people comment.Me no know.


You see, thats what i meant by this... then they come in and (of course) lambaste it... then tell me i should...yada yada... I appreciate the concern...and i will hold back on the multiple topics a day... but, to me it sounds a bit like they are contradicting when they (not all) said to post for your self... *shakes head* I don't know... perhaps its just the week...

on Nov 16, 2005
Did you get assigned Waiting for Godot recently or something?

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