Ok, first of all. This is an attempt at a humorous written comic. A Satire/spoof, nothing but comedy. So, bear with me. Also, If you feel that there are any direct references that you do not care for... just let me know. I do not write these to intentionally poke at one as to condem, just to joke around. Also, I am *not* directly/indirectly meaning anything towards the admins. The possibility of someone thinking that sprang into my mind. And i wanted to make it clear.
Anyway, I got the idea about 3-4 weeks ago...but, as i was busy at that time. I only started it about a week and a half ago. I will need all the help/suggestions, and critizicisms i can get.
Best Regards, Lucas
Welcome faithful readers, to the world of exiled edd, and banished bob. These two are satire inspiring, intelligence disinclined, bumbling fools. On one hand we have Bob, a genius, whose pure bad luck has landed him in the vast "wildlands" outside the fortress of JU. On the other hand, we have Edd, a man 'many crayons short' of a full box. Let us proceed.
We meet our intrepid (or perhaps senseless) heroes standing outside the impregnable fortress known as JU.
“What do we do?” exclaimed Edd. “We’ve been cast out by the gods, what the bloody hell do we do?”
Bob glanced around, seeing that the only items they had with them were a rubber band and some paper.
Bob suddenly had an idea. The sun suddenly peaked out from behind a storm cloud. Brightening the area surrounding the JU fortress.
“I know what we can do, we can use the rubber band to shoot spit wads through the holes the bugs made!” Edd said excitedly.
Bob scratched his head, willing to give his limited friend an opportunity and revealing his tope and mumbled, “Why not.”
Bob proceeded to crumple up small bits of paper and moistened them in his mouth, raised the stretched rubber band and shot at the fortress.
The spit wad hit the fortress and bounced back hitting Edd square in the face.
“Damn it!” Grumbled Bob, “Try again!”
And yet again they fired, and yet again it bounced off the wall and this time hit bob square in the face, they failed.
“Lets try going over it.”, said Edd.
“Good Idea!” Bob said.
The two ran off and returned a few minutes later with a giant crate with the words, “ Product brought to you by: ACNE Industries: ‘Once they pop, we can stop…’ .”
After taking a crow bar to the crate, Bob began to search inside the packing material. As Edd started to play with the packing material, bubble wrap.
Popp! Popp! Popp! Edd giggled at the sound.
Bob looked up at Edd with a look of disgust on his face, “Edd, My inept friend; Never do that again…”
Edd looked at him quizzically and nodded his head.
“Right you are Bob…Bobby boy.” Edd said.”
Bob had found what he was looking for, the frame for the flying machine, a rocket.
As Bob walked by Edd, he smacked him along side the head.
“Need I remind you again, to not call me by my despicable nickname.”
Edd grinned sheepishly.
“Now, we -- No, *I* must build this flying machine. You, can go wander off and hopefully fall in some hole in the ground where I can’t hear you scream…”
Edd nodded, not fully comprehending Bob’s meaning.
“Righ Ooh Bob! Hee Hee!”
Edd walked off, chasing a butterfly into the woods.
Bob meanwhile, had begun construction of the flying machine.
After many minutes, bob finished. He stepped back and admired his handy work. He heard a loud thud and looked towards the sound. He saw Edd laying on the ground, face first. Bob shook his head.
“Edd! Come!”
Edd sprang up in such a flash, it was as if nothing had gone wrong.
As Edd approached, bob began to speak, “ Edd, I need you to stand here and let me attach this machine to you.”
“What’s it for Bob?” Edd asked.
“Its an snow cone machine, we’re going to go make snow cones.” Bob said.
“Yeah! Snow cones! Snow Cones! We’re gonna make snow cones!” Edd sang happily.
“Yes, oh joy.” Bob said dryly.
“Now Edd, close your eyes, I am going to turn it on.” ,bob said.
Bob proceeded to turn the rocket on. As a result, Edd and the rocket shot off into the air and crashed into the JU fortress. Nothing happened.
“Curses!” Bob cried, “Must find a better way!”
Hope y'all enjoy!
Best Regards, Lucas