Been kicked, beat, and subjected into rational thinking......poor lil' puppy.....go home! LOL ;p J/K
Well, after taking a few days off, cleaning out my list of "articles"; I've been thinking....so far i'v been(since joining), befriended, criticized, bashed, kicked, assumed, and many other things.......but, ya know what.....I'm glad, Its made me re-think a lot of things, my life, where i intend to go after CC, my attitude, how i interact with others.....quite a bit.
I've been going to the doc's (psych. and medical) and breakthroughs have been made; while i can't say all of my problems (or whatever you wish to call them...) have been solved, I feel headway is being made, and I do feel i have a good grasp of who i am, and what i can do. I am kind, and I am constantly thinking, (others have been amazed at this 
(people not a JU btw) ) I can't multi-task even if my life depended on it. I am generally a peaceful person; but have a horrible temper, and when proviked 
, tend to (as another blogger put it) "turn the volume knob further the the right" (not exact quote) and look like an idiot (for lack of a better term). I am, as dharmagrl said; am always seeking to be liked by others, where this comes from, i am not sure, but my guess is it might come from my 'relationship' with a former step father, Dennis Penner, i only remember the violent temper and rage he had , nothing more (he was around from age 4-11). My mum said he was jealous because i was smarter than him, i have my doubts. I have always been shy. At school, i was the "nice guy", the one not part of the cliques, but was there....(get my meaning?, I was...a "loner", you could say, "drifting" about school, going to classes, occasionally saying high to people) I had a few friends there, about 4 (that i can think of right know). I like to write; my ideas are plentiful,but my writing skills are abysmal. The only social activities i've done are sports(Football,Soccor, baseball, basketball, bowling), my senior party, a dance, and a lock in. (again thats all i can think of at the moment)....I am indeed a loner, but one always thinking and always watching...though i can be a bit 'absent minded' at times I am (not trying to ) going to control my temper, and my urge to...well, ya know...and become better...
What am i able to do? Where am i going with my life? What will I become?
-I don't know; i have many interests. (study wise) I like History (have a real knack for it), Sports(Football; both playing and coaching[defensive side of the ball]) , Literature, and Computers. While, I like computers, my skills needed are miniscule and i don't see it as a feasible option, As for literature, i don't really see any area (specific area) that i want to go in. History, Similar to how i see literature, except that i do have an area i like, ancient history... (way back to the beginning of written history) , i have considered getting a bachelors or masters degree and then getting my teaching credentials. Football, my "interest" for this is strong, i like the thinking and strategy involved in the play design, coaching,etc... I also like the; running and hitting and tackling....I've always wanted to play the Quarterback position, but at 5' 7.5" tall and 245 lbs., i am not the ideal prospect, my skills are above average, according to the HS football coach, I only played one year of tackle football (freshman year, DT position) and two years of flag football (nose tackle/inside linebacker, back then i was 5'3" (give/take) and 286 lbs. ......), i decided at the beginning of my sophmore year that it would be better to focus on my studies as my gpa dropped to 1.34 when playing (eek!) and i knew that if i didn't get my grades up, and keep them there, i was screwed.....i managed to keep my gpa up (2.8-2.9 sophmore year, i eased up a bit and it dropped... , i continued to do this my last two years.... now i regret it...though, I did help out with the Baseball team (manager/equipment guy/ base coach), basket ball team (coach/videographer,did game highlights,etc...for school "news" ) and organized the school chess team (we did abysmal my junior year, but had a couple people go to state... 
)
Looking at all of these, i really am unsure of what career is best for me, i'll probably end up a "jack of all trades...and master of few" (quoted from one of my great grandmothers (Helen L. Stadtfeld/Gray) articles (many moons ago). The one thing i really would like to, is play pro football, i've printed out some drills,etc... for the QB position (oh, and have lost 56 lbs, out of the 100lbs needed...), although i most likely going to end up as a DT/NT/LB...., if i do venture that way...or, i could become a HS history teacher...I don't know...
One thing i need to say is, thank you. (and that includes LW, and dharmagrl btw) I've learned alot as i've continued to blog here. Reading other blogs here makes me understand that my life isn't that bad, others have had hard troubles, and have faced them well. (and other things) As a wise man said..."People die, legacies live forever..." Well, better get out of here and go make my legacy... 
--Lucas