9/30/05...

Published on September 30, 2005 By ----- In Misc

For the last year, specifically the last four months I’ve been letting my ‘asshole’, and cowardly attitude get the best of me. My stubborn, if not fanatical drive to ‘redeem’ myself has driven me to an increase in stress, low tolerance and a general ‘not very nice attitude’. I’ve let it trickle into my real life; my friends, family and schooling. I’ve been rigid and snappy towards those I love and care for. I became blind to what others have said, those who only wished to help me…as a friend said, “You’ve alienated them…” No longer.
I’ve been irresponsibly lax in doing what is needed to get healthier…causing setbacks. I’ve been arrogant; blaming others for my faults and inability to cope with my health issues. I’ve been a fool.
The increase in stress has only caused me more health problems; my heart has enlarged more, and my pulmonary hypertension has become worse. I can’t be so stubborn , blind and logically inept. I can’t let it continue; I won’t let it continue. I have bigger problems. I’m done with it. Hopefully I will be able to, as a result, get back on track,, be healthier, and nicer.
I apologize for my childish and foolish actions. I am no longer going to ‘rebuild’/ ‘defend’ myself…its just too dang stressful…and stupid…
If I do happen, ‘god willing I don’t’, to stumble and fall back into my old routine, well (to borrow a term); “Crack that whip!” Remind me, or kick my butt back into gear…

Comments

dharmagrl

on Sep 30, 2005

Blah blah blah, Lucas. Sorry, but this is number what? 3? 4, perhaps? Just how many times are you going to regurgitate this same ol' claptrap?

You have managed to alienate some really, really cool people here, people who (had you not lied to them and shit on them) could have been great for you. Instead, you chose to lie to them MULTIPLE times. Not once, not twice, but MULTIPLE times about multiple things. You have not only been untruthful, but you've also been beligerent and arrogant. You've given people who were genuinely interested in helping you out of the mire you were rolling in a big 'piss on you' attitude. Well, you know what Lucas? I'm going to give you that attitude right back. So, piss on YOU, dude.

-----

on Sep 30, 2005

Ehh, like i said...I'm done...Kaput...If you care to continue to talk with me on here, thats fine... otherwise, i'd really rather not have you, or anyone else bash me concerning this....its history...done with.

dharmagrl

on Sep 30, 2005

otherwise, i'd really rather not have you, or anyone else bash me concerning this....its history...done with.

Well, I'd really rather NOT have had you lie, cheat, manipulate, pout, stamp your feet like a child and generally behave badly. But you did.

-----

on Oct 01, 2005

Well, I'd really rather NOT have had you lie, cheat, manipulate, pout, stamp your feet like a child and generally behave badly. But you did.

-Note that word: DID... not any more...I'm closing the comments on this...obviously people don't understand resignment...

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